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I tangled my fingers in the curls of the universe,
pulled. The earth fell out: round, warm, spinning.

Awkward and shy, she wondered how she got here; how
a rock that got wet and grew moss could be significant.

So I scooped her up in my fingers, breathed her scent:

(lilies and oceans and ozone and forests and fish and birds
and whales and rain and the empty elegance in wolf howls)

death and life. I found chaos
and knew beauty.
Just an idea that popped into my head while I was trying to imagine what poetry would think if it were a person.

Updated - changed some punctuation. Too many commas at first. :fear:
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012   General Artist
My goodness miss Lili! :love:
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:love:
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012   General Artist
:tighthug: :heart:
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:iconawaicu:
awaicu Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Why didn't I see this before? It's so elegant in style and flows so beautifully! You know, it almost speaks to me as an invocation of sorts, as if you're talking about of all the things in this world that inspire your writing! That's at least how I interpret it. . C:
But thank you for sharing this wonderful piece of literature, you certainly have a way with words! <3
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I guess I sort of was. Existence itself inspires a lot of what I write. :P Thanks for taking the time to read. :heart:
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:iconawaicu:
awaicu Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yes, existence is quite a stunning thing. . It's amazing how fragile and unlikely life is, and yet it exists anyway. You're welcome, I am always interested in people's literature! I have a soft spot for amazing writing <333
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well then if you haven't been introduced, I highly recommend the writing of `YouInventedMe, *brassteeth, `queenhrosie, and =SilverInkblot...to get you started. :P
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:iconawaicu:
awaicu Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow, thank you so so much for showing me all of these amazing writers! Of course, I haven't gotten the chance to read all of their works yet, but wow, I just skimmed a few and they are so awesome! I will be watching all of them for more awesomesauce writing :la:
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:D Happy to spread the great writing!
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:iconselunia:
Selunia Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Very beautiful
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you. :heart:
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:iconfackeltanz:
fackeltanz Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2012   Writer
This poem has a lot of great things going for it! My favorite parts, probably, are stanzas 1 and 3+4, but the trailing end of stanza 4 does feel a little weak-- perhaps because the bit about "empty elegance in wolf howls" might be throwing off the balance within this piece a little too far.

Still, very nice!
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for your thoughts! :heart:
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:iconexquisiteoath:
exquisiteoath Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2011  Student General Artist
This is a beautiful personification and I think frightfully (in the sense of awe and wonder) true.
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :D That's a wonderful compliment. :heart:
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:iconexquisiteoath:
exquisiteoath Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2011  Student General Artist
You're very welcome.
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:iconxtrqs:
XTRQS Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2011
This is fantastic!
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :)
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:iconwhiskei:
Whiskei Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
This is what escapism is like for me.
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I think I like your version of escapism then.
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:iconjadesfires:
jadesfires Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2011   Writer
I am amazed by how of a story you stuffed into this little tiny poem. I love it. I also love the idea of finding beauty in chaos...too many people think of chaos negatively. Thanks for sharing this.
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :)
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:iconbeeinthebottle:
beeinthebottle Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2011   Writer
love how you use so many of the senses in the imagery here. I can see, feel, hear, smell. Amazing writing.
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :D
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:iconkersee9:
kersee9 Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2011  Professional Writer
This is lovely Lili!
"I found chaos and knew beauty." Excellent end line.
:heart:
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :heart:
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:iconthetaoofchaos:
thetaoofchaos Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2011   Writer
Marvelous.
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :)
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:iconangel-in-pieces:
angel-in-pieces Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2011  Student Writer
This is wonderfully written. The imagery is so strong it's practically tangible. :heart:
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Yay! I love it when I manage that. :heart:
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:iconmaidenofwar:
maidenofwar Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2011
i love how this is written <3
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :)
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:icontwistedalyx:
TwistedAlyx Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I know what you mean--I definitely have a comma problem.

This is wonderful. I love the idea of the universe being made of curly stuff. (Probably because I have ferociously curly hair, and I'm always joking with people that it eats things. I could totally see a planet hiding in there.) ;)
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :) I'm glad you could visualize it so well. ^_^
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:iconpursuingthecerberus:
PursuingTheCerberus Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2011  Professional Writer
I love how you wrote the second-to-last stanza inside parenthesis with a million "ands". It really works there! The closing line is fantastic, beaten only by the opening line! This poem is wonderful. I'm happy to be reading new works by you!! It seems we've both been busy trying to get reestablished here...I'm currently at a lost on how to get my works out there more...lol...but I guess only time can help that.
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! I am rather happy with this one myself. Not too terrible for a rather sporadic idea that just sort of fell out of my pen. Those are usually entirely abstract catastrophes that get hidden in the bottom of my underwear drawer. (Tmi?)

As for getting your work out there - the best thing to do is read and comment on other people's works. Eventually that karma comes back to you. When I first joined here, I got maybe three views a month - if I was lucky. It wasn't until I started reading and commenting on other works that my work got some attention. And even then it took some time. I don't think I had more than a handful of watchers that I knew from real life until about a year after I'd joined AND been fairly active in the community.

Basically, you have to give it to get it. ;)
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:iconpursuingthecerberus:
PursuingTheCerberus Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2011  Professional Writer
lol I just realized I typed "at a lost" instead of "at a loss..."

ahhh typos.

My favorite aspect of Deviant is to read the amazing works of others and I find myself naturally wanting to comment and critique. I've done so since I've joined. I'm sure that karma will come back my way eventually. I probably don't assert myself enough with my own works either and I definitely don't post enough new poems, so most of it is probably my own fault. Great to hear from you!
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:iconrlkirkland:
rlkirkland Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Love this one. :heart:
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :heart:
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:iconkamcalste:
kamcalste Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Really, really lovely. The narrative of it, the imagery, the emotion evoked. Perhaps one of my favorites by you. :) Well done!
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :heart:
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:iconellanyx:
EllaNyx Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2011
Enchanting.:iconloveloveplz:
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :)
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:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2011
A lovely poem!
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :)
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:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2011
:heart:
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:iconwyldhoney:
wyldhoney Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
This one is just awesome all the way from start to finish!
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :heart:
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:iconriparii:
riparii Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2011
This one got my feet wet and left mist on my eyelashes. :heart:
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
:tighthug: That means a lot, coming from you.
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