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Inspirational by intricately-ordinary

poetry by cardinal-hearts


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February 20, 2012
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My father is an alcoholic. He has never abused or purposefully neglected me. He loves me very much, and I love him. He just loves the bottle more.

I pulled this out of an old collection specifically for the launch of #To-Our-Family, a group that focuses on the familial love that exists despite difficulty, animosity, abuse, pain, and neglect. I strongly encourage all of you to check it out.

:heart:

Edit: Holy cow! :wow: Thank you for all of the support on this one, guys and gals. :heart: It means a lot!

I support #dALinkSystem! :la: Check out ~this-epiphany's poem about her father and his cat:

have you seen your father hugging the cat, my mother asks
& I laugh because I have. the
cat hugs him back, wraps his paws
around my father's neck, rubs
his face against the bristle
of my father's greying beard. &
I imagine my father whispering
sweetly to him & the cat's
low rumble in reply. just yesterday
they were fighting, my father
threatening to drown him
in the lake, cradling a
bird with broken wings, blinking
away tears. he loves them,
every bird & ground squirrel,
buries them & storms around
all day. but by night they are
embracing, my father & his cat,
making peace between themselves
too low for our ears. these
things I cannot hear, but se
Add a Comment:
 
:iconthesquareroot:
thesquareroot Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
there's so much here, i can just wade through it....
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner May 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :)
Reply
:iconirrevocablefate:
IrrevocableFate Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013   Writer
Hello again lovely, I've featured this piece as well: here 'cause you might have forgotten to click the last link or something.



:heart: Stephany
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:smooch: You are a peach!
Reply
:iconirrevocablefate:
IrrevocableFate Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013   Writer
:giggle: :iconsmoochesplz:
Reply
:iconcareravegirlbear:
CareRaveGirlBear Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012
I really Like these last few parting words, that is something our dad would say! And its so true!

Dad's parting words
reverent, pleading:

be better than me.

vii.

somebody told me
there's more to life
than breathing.

(life lesson:
there's more.)
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :)
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
God, I feel this one. Different relative, but the very same feelings. :heart:

Powerful piece.
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:hug: Glad someone can relate. Well, sort of. :lol: I wish things like addiction didn't exist, but if they must, I am glad that people learn to live around them.
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ah, yes.. People either get or they try to. Those that try to never will. It's such a strange dynamic living with or around an addict. It makes survivors out of the innocent, yeah? :hug:
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Very true. :tighthug:
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Student Writer
My heart stuttered whenever the next line of this piece crossed my screen; the words' beauty shimmer with the gleam of an obsidian blade: dark and dangerous yet satisfying to view....The stanza structure only highlights the forlorn hope and shows years of heart-wrenching pain and unshakeable love. This poem is beauty defined...
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
That is quite a compliment. :blush: Thank you so much for your kind words.
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Student Writer
You are welcome! :)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:faint:
this is unbelievable.
I literally got goosebumps reading it.
It feels so shatteringly real and beautiful, it touches a tender nerve inside me in the way you not only depict the delicate paternal relationships, but also philosophical developments on life because of it.

On a side note, I love the way you structure stanzas. It's sparse and entirely unique. Often writers (myself included) break up sentences and make those stanzas. You seem to write in feelings and emotions, in pictures and thoughts.

Beautiful :heart:
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:blush: Thank you for such a fine compliment!

As for the stanzas, this was actually a bit away from my usual stanza size/line length but I think you've got it right - I was trying to write in feelings rather than logic. Thanks for picking up on that! :heart:
Reply
:iconloza-muse:
Loza-Muse Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I loved this so much! That first stanza is what drew me in, that was just an amazing piece to read! Loved it :3
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconastrikos:
Astrikos Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2012   General Artist
This is so beautiful. the first stanza hit my heart, touched it, and so did every stanza after it. Really beautiful structured and so emotive. Wonderful flow and a beautiful message. I really love the feelings and reality of this piece,

:heart: Truly wonderful. :hug:
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for such kind praise. :heart:
Reply
:iconastrikos:
Astrikos Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012   General Artist
:heart:
Reply
:iconmeggie272:
Meggie272 Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
The message of this is deep and sad and portrayed wonderfully, and I loved the imagery and the structure.

driving myself home
(read: four walls
and so many mistakes
to make) I remember

gum stuck in the asphalt,
air swimming with heat,
awkward, hasty hug


Those were two beautiful stanzas. They really appealed to me for some reason. Probably some memory I can't remember. :XD:
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :heart:
Reply
:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012   Writer
This is heartbreaking, but also so beautiful. You truly are incredible. I want to quote a favorite line, but there's just so much good -- I don't know where to begin.
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconnight-ice:
Night-Ice Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Very moving piece, with or without the backstory.
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad it comes through without the backstory. :heart:
Reply
:iconneonxaos:
neonxaos Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Strong... Parents are people. It seems obvious until you discover what it means.
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
So true. :nod:
Reply
:iconrose-from-the-ashes:
rose-from-the-ashes Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
just awesome :heart:
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2012   Writer
:+fav:
A very spare yet richly detailed view of what you actually learned at home while in high school. You learned a lot from your Dad. That's how it should be, and whether the words come from Black Label, other alcohol or not, they speak a truth in your touching and eloquent last quote directly attributed to your father. Thank you.
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: I wanted most to show that no one is one thing. My dad is not just an alcoholic. He's also a philosopher, guitarist, wal-mart employee, confidante, devil's advocate, pool partner, and so much more. :heart:
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012   Writer
I believe everyone is a lot more than what may be seen on the surface, especially those who've been around awhile.
In other words, I agree with you. :heart:
Reply
:iconavfc4me:
avfc4me Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2012
Do you remember the day you realized your father wasn't the all-seeing, all-knowing, all-conquering force that was supposed to be DADDY, and you realized...he's just a man?

I didn't know; you always speak of him with love and reverence. That's unusual, and ... a gift, I think.

I like this very much.
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I don't remember the day itself. I don't think there was a day, really. I sort of realized my dad had a problem with alcohol and other substances from a very young age. For the most part, I raised myself and my two younger sisters. Dad was busy working or avoiding my mother by hanging out at the bar. My mother was busy yelling at us or drinking boxes of wine. They're a large part of the reason that I have been extremely careful about NOT getting pregnant. I already have issues, I don't need to perpetuate them onto my children. :faint:

I'm glad you like it. :heart: And yes, I rarely have a bad thing to say about my father. He is not perfect, but he's perfect for me. :)
Reply
:iconavfc4me:
avfc4me Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012
It still surprises me how many people think it's okay to tell their kids not to drink/take drugs...while they're washing down their pills with booze and then lighting a ciggie to cover the smell. Then again, the parents out there that don't aren't much better sometimes.

It's a wonder, really, when you look around, that any of us make it to 14, much less on to adulthood and families of our own.

As for kids; I hope it's just a postponement and not a nevernevernever... you have issues? We all have issues. The sad truth is, the responsible people are doing the responsible thing and waiting, meanwhile, the likes of Snooki and the lineup of idiots on the Maury Povich show are breeding like bunnies. We need a better ratio of 1-rational-person to 1,000 so please. Get a little irresponsible and make sure we have SOME sensible people carrying on in the gene pool...

'Cause that pool's lookin' really really close to the one that started this mess in the first place; single-celled functionality ... with guns and a fear of condoms. Yikes!
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:lmao: I don't want to have my own kids, but I fully intend to adopt about a dozen from the messy gene pool out there. As long as they have brains, they can be taught! ;)
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:iconavfc4me:
avfc4me Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012
Yes...just ... not necessarily in our school systems!

Argh! If only people knew. There really WOULD be riots in the streets!
Reply
:iconangeljunkie:
angeljunkie Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2012   Photographer
This is pretty awesome. For so many reasons. Specific details are a bit difference, but the underlying theme is close enough, it's easy to identify with, and you handled it quite eloquently.
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :)
Reply
:iconmadibird:
MadiBird Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I love this so much! Your words and the flow is so deep and emotional. It's a very beautiful poem.
I wish you the best of luck with your father. You seem to be very strong about your situation, and I applaud you for it. :hug:
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much. :hug:
Reply
:iconworldssecret:
WorldsSecret Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012  Student Writer
I usually don't comment on things... I'm a fave-and-run kind of person...
But I have to say that this is beautiful and touching. :)
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm a fave-and-run kind of person, too. So I very much appreciate the pause to say something. :heart: Thank you.
Reply
:iconande-art:
ande-art Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is really touching :)
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. :heart:
Reply
:iconxcetera:
Xcetera Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012  Professional Photographer
That's really beautiful. :hug:
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks very much. :heart:
Reply
:iconsunshinegypsy:
sunshinegypsy Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012  Professional Writer
This one really hit me hard. My father was not an alcoholic. And he never purposefully neglected me. But he never understood me and it took us 20 years to realize we could still love each other. :heart: This is some powerful writing. I'm so glad to have you in my group (and thanks for the mention!)

Also, what I wrote for my father: [link]

Just because... sometimes we all travel different paths and end up at the same place.

:heart:
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